Updated July, 2026

I was recently discussing chronic pain with a friend, she said something to me that stuck — “well, it is a ‘thing’”. Yes, chronic pain is a very real thing that many of us live with every day.

Maybe you power through and keep on working, or you find yourself parked on the couch day after day, feeling like life is simply passing you by. If this sounds familiar, you aren’t alone in your struggle. In fact, according to the CDC, nearly 1 in 4 U.S. adults — about 24% — live with chronic pain lasting three months or longer, and roughly 8.5% experience pain severe enough to limit their daily lives.

Many times, I’ve heard people say things like “just deal with it”. While this seems straightforward enough, this is easier said than done. In the throes of a nationwide opioid epidemic, many of us (myself included) deal with our pain without the support of medications for relief. We are prescribed physical therapy, non-opioid medications, OTC medications, steroid treatments, or we may try supportive naturopathic care like rest, CBD, hydrotherapy, and meditation.

The source of chronic pain often goes undiagnosed, which can lead to anxiety and unease. “What is wrong with me?” becomes a dominating thought.

 

 10 Tips for Managing Chronic Pain

 Managing chronic pain is more than doctors, pills, and therapy. It is developing a support system and a lifestyle that accommodates your limitations. It’s finding the support you need while living your life to the fullest.

Here are a few tips for managing the pain and living life off the couch of despair.

1. Commit to Your Medical Care

I was raised in the South in a loving Southern family. This context matters because there are many unspoken rules about pain that get passed down before you’re even old enough to question them.

Tough it out.

Suffer in silence.

Turn the other cheek.

Don’t complain.

Doctors are for the really sick.

These weren’t said to me outright, but the quiet, tough endurance of Southern women was held in high regard, often conflicting with my need for self-care, medical treatment, or even just to talk about my struggles.

Combined with the Christian principles I was raised with, the message underneath was clear: complaining about pain was a kind of weakness, maybe even a lack of faith. Real strength meant carrying your burden quietly and trusting it would pass, or that God would handle it.

This is not to assign any type of blame, but to remind you that if you are struggling to prioritize your health, sometimes there are underlying barriers to making this commitment for yourself. Doctors, mental health professionals, and naturopathic care are all as relevant to your care as your spiritual health. Seeking out practical avenues like seeing your doctor regularly, learning to meditate, or attending a chronic pain support group are all means to a purpose.

That purpose is to take care of yourself. There should be no guilt in that. You may not have a diagnosis for your chronic pain, or a cure, so effective management requires consistency. Step one, then, is to make that commitment for yourself.

2. Be Patient with Yourself

Don’t beat yourself up over your limitations. Pain changes people. You realize you have limits, but this does NOT mean that you do not have purpose, value, and deserve to live proudly. While your pain may limit you, it does not define you. Try to focus on what you CAN do, not on what you can’t.

3. Ask for Help

This may seem simple, but trying to do everything you used to do can make living with pain much harder than it needs to be. Delegate when you can, use tools that make your life easier (mobility aids, monitoring apps, etc.), and accept help with a smile. There’s no shame in allocating energies wisely and accepting kind offers of help from people in your support circle.

4. Be Honest with Yourself and Others about Your Pain

Be honest with yourself, your family, and friends. Let them know you are struggling with pain and that it is affecting how you go about your daily activities, how you participate in social engagements, and how you feel from day to day. Try to understand that they cannot feel what you are going through, and some skepticism is understandable.

• There will be critics. Handle these by providing only the necessary information. What they do not understand or choose to criticize (even though it hurts) is not your priority. Your priority is your health.
• If you feel you are overburdening your support system with complaints, consider professional support, journaling, or other creative outlets for rumination, lamentation, or venting. It’s hard for loved ones to bear what we go through, so being honest can also mean just saying “today’s a tough day” and asking for a hug. This is pure medicine.
• If there are people in your life who criticize you, berate you, or abuse you for what you are going through, maybe it’s time to distance yourself and protect your peace. You need a supportive community, not one that makes you feel less of a person for what you are going through.

5. Healthy Coping Skills for Chronic Pain Relief

Let’s be honest here. There’s a lot of coping going on with chronic pain. But remember that coping is a skill that many of us were not taught as children, and a muscle we sometimes use wrongly.

Take a moment to think about how you cope with your pain. Are those activities contributing, relieving, or covering up your pain? This is not the time to turn to alcohol, painkillers, or other unhealthy means of dealing with your pain. Self-abusive activities will only worsen what your body is already trying to manage.

6. Find Joy Wherever You Can!

Find joy wherever you can. Joy, smiling, laughter, even in small doses, can help you to feel more alive! Looking for the brighter side may sound really small, or even stupid compared to your pain, or like advice from someone who doesn’t understand what it’s like — but I have lived this for the better part of my life. The active pursuit of pleasure and purpose in the midst of suffering, can fuel our better perspectives on the tough days.

Embracing joy is a practice. Happiness is a verb.

7. Accept the Ups and Downs

There are good days and bad days.

Some days start out terrible, but this doesn’t have to ruin the whole day.

One hour you may be actively doing something, then you crash out for an unplanned nap.

There are ups and downs with chronic pain, and this is simply part of the experience. To some degree, accept this unpredictability, prepare for it, and roll with it as best you can.

8. Listen to Your Body

Doctors often ask if I have medical training or comment that I’m unusually self-aware, more in tune with my body than most patients. Part of that is my neurodivergence, part of it is years of hard-won experience. Learning to actually listen to my body took time, but it’s one of the most valuable skills I’ve built.

Listen to your body, and respond to it with kindness. Sometimes pain is a signal to slow down, rest a specific area, or let it heal. Other times, it’s just a misfiring that will fade on its own. Try not to ruminate on or inflate what may be a temporary flare. Redirect your focus elsewhere until it passes.

9. Say NO.

There are times you just, cannot.

You can’t always show up. It is ok to be absent without guilt. If you were sick, you’d have to bow out, and this is no different. Sometimes you just can’t be there…and this is OK.

10. What to Say When They Tell You to ‘Just Deal’ with Chronic Pain

Just tell them — I am.

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Living with chronic pain can be isolating, embarrassing, and exhausting, both for the person carrying it and for those who love them. If someone in your life is going through this, try not to judge, dismiss, or gossip about what you don’t fully understand. We all carry burdens, and we handle them the best we can, in vastly different ways.

And if you’re the one living with chronic pain: stay positive. You have value, and your pain does not define who you are.

You are not alone.

If living with chronic pain has shaped how you see the world, or even how you write about it, I’d love to help you tell that story. I offer writing and editing services for people navigating exactly this.