The Healing Power of New Beginnings

A Living Your Best Life / Fiddlehead Life feature post

Today I am grateful for new beginnings.

Yes, even the ones that are traumatic and painful. Because sometimes, life turns you right on your head. Suddenly nothing makes sense, everything is barreling in a new direction, and it seems everything in your life is totally out of control. Have you ever had a change like this in your life?

Suddenly he wants a divorce?
A loved one passes away?
You get fired from your job and suddenly have no idea what you’re going to do?

(Insert your trauma HERE.)

Life is a series of decisions and the results of those decisions. But what happens when it is totally out of your control and everything is turned upside down?

You’re traumatized. Maybe a little angry. Okay, maybe a whole lot angry. But being the dedicated optimist that I am, as I sit here in the midst of my trauma, I have to look for the silver lining or I think my head might actually explode.

Trauma happens to you. It happens to your mind. It happens to your body. And it happens to your life. If you struggle to control the trauma or force it away, you can often find yourself in a losing battle. After all, it wouldn’t be trauma if we had much of a say so in the matter, would it? So you dig in, you dig deep, you find your strength, and then you set out to find a purpose for this new direction in your life.

I suggest that you not only tie a knot in the end of your rope and hang on but that you grab onto that rope and swing out over that canyon like a child swinging out over the creek. Shout like a lunatic and laugh through tears. Release, release, release.

You have to find joy in your trauma as ridiculous as that sounds. You have find that one thing in your new beginning that you can cling to and call hope.

In the midst of my trauma right now, the biggest thing I can cling to is the excitement over living on my own for the first time. I’m 46 years old. I went from a family of seven in tight quarters to living with a new husband at the age of 18. I got divorced and remarried within a year. I raised my two sons and 10 years ago met up with my boyfriend and his five-year-old daughter and we have lived as a family since.

Until two weeks ago. My relationship over, I have to figure out what the hell to do with my life right now. We had all of these plans and ideas of what our future looked like together. All, gone. In a matter of about 30 hours, it all came crashing down and I found myself leaving with what would fit in my mother’s car. I left my cat and my dog behind. The air suddenly felt foreign to my lungs.

So, I have never lived alone. In my life. And I have always wanted to. This time, though it is a bit unexpected, I cling to that little bit of excitement to help me get through the unbearable pain and sadness that my body is experiencing right now. I cling to the vision of getting my own place. One that lets me retrieve my dog and my cat, and start over.

I envision wiping down the counters in the evenings after eating a meal in front of some TV show that I wanted to watch. I envision playing music when I want. I envision working in the peace and quiet of my own home. I envision decorating the place to my own liking without a care in the world is to what everyone else thinks about it.

I envision coming and going from my home with freedom, and without having to explain myself or my actions to anyone.

These are things I have never experienced before, so I am holding onto that vision to get me through these difficult times for my heart.

I’m not going to lie, it’s been extremely painful. Some of the time the tears overtook me so hard, I couldn’t breathe. I find myself walking outside in the dark at 3 am. I am forgetting what day or time it is.

Trauma can turn your life inside out and it can be horrifically painful. I’m not saying to pretend you’re not in pain. That would be counterproductive and unhealthy. Honor your pain. Admit it’s there. You have to STEP UP your self-care, listen to your body, and slowly work your way through the pain to find a place of peace.

And while you’re doing that–get on your rope swing and take a few chances looking for some joy with in yourself. It may take you a while to find it, but I guarantee you, it’s there.

With a new beginning comes new possibilities. It’s up to you to decide what those possibilities are and dig deep for the bravery it takes to pursue them.

Don’t let anyone call you selfish. You know the pain that you are in and you know what you’ve been through and you know that you are processing that pain in this moment. And don’t be afraid to call this a new beginning. New beginnings can be painful, yes. But they can also be immensely transformative in your life. Those pivotal moments happen so few times in our lives, that if you were to see those pivotal moments as an opportunity not to be missed, you can take back some of that control you have been missing.

That’s all for now. I hope you all are well and I hope you are taking care of yourselves and listening to your own inner voice that tells you what you need. Honor yourself and don’t be afraid to go after the life that you want!

Until next time,
Christina

10 Creative Ways to Spend Your Social Distancing Time

The Fiddlehead Life–a blog series on Living Well

Image by Jan Vašek from Pixabay

The Fiddlehead Life series is a blog series dedicated to bringing you actionable strategies for improving your life, analyzing various topics on well-living, and a has strong focus on personal growth. A wide variety of topics will be covered. Come and join the movement to live your best life.


We are so spoiled. We come and go from our homes with relative ease. We go to places. We get things. We bring things home. Rinse. Repeat. It’s not often we are told to stay home. It gets us a bit miffed. Like, what the heck are we supposed to do with all this time at home? It’s not like we don’t always wish we had more time at home.

Here we are in the midst of a global pandemic, panic and anxiety on the rise, and we are being told to practice social distancing in order to slow the spread of Coronavirus, Covid-19.

We can spend this time
pacing the floor,
or we can do the things
we never have time to do.

YOU CHOOSE.

Here’s a few fun things to help you occupy your time with a playful and positive spirit.

Netflix and chill.

  • Watch a series you’ve been meaning to see.
  • Break out the popcorn and turn down the lights.
  • Re-watch a favorite movie.
  • Go down the wormhole of internet videos on cats jumping off stuff, screaming goats, Tik Tok music videos, how-it’s-made stuff, conspiracy theories, or ghost stories. (Now, you have time!)

Work a jigsaw puzzle.

  • Break out those dusty boxes of jigsaw puzzles from the top of the closet, clean off a table, and put on some music. Jigsaw away the hours — you’d be surprised how soothing it is to sit with a puzzle. Get the whole family involved!
  • Add a jigsaw puzzle app to your tablet or phone (Here’s the one I like.)

Do a craft project or a project around the house.

  • Break out the WIP that’s been collecting dust.
  • Learn a new craft — YouTube is great for tutorials!
  • Build something. Sand something. Paint something.
  • Fix something around the house that’s been patiently waiting for your attention.

Read a book.

  • Yes, this ancient practice is something people still do.
  • If you can’t find a book around the house — find books online that you can download.
  • Read some poetry.
  • Re-read an old favorite.
  • Read to your kids.

Spend time with your family.

  • Play board games, watch movies, take turns telling jokes or making up ghost stories — treat this like a sleepover fun time!
  • Have a dance party. Seriously, kids love this.
  • Let your kids plan an activity or put on a show for you.
  • Whip out your best fun face and show your kids a more relaxed side of you.
  • Cuddle.
  • Play games or make up new games.

Spend time with your dog.

  • Remember, you may be bored being stuck at home — but your dog is ecstatic. Your dog’s whole life is YOU.
  • Cuddle with your dog (or other pet).
  • Give your dog a bath and grooming.
  • Spend some time sprucing up your dog’s living area — wash their bedding or bowls. Give them a treat.
  • Play with your dog!

Catch up on your correspondence.

  • Call your Mom. Call your Dad. Call a friend. Call your Aunt you haven’t talked to in awhile.
  • Write a letter or card.
  • Answer your emails. (While you’re at it — deal with those 3000 unread ones.)
  • Touch base with potential career contacts or reach out to lingering loose ends.
  • Check out what’s going on with your social media friends.
  • Go down the heritage rabbit hole — maybe you’ll find a long lost relative!

Exercise.

  • Get out that home exercise equipment and give it a go!
  • Do some yoga.
  • Find a YouTube video to teach you a new routine.
  • Take a walk around your home.

Bake something.

  • Ask Alexa for a new cookie recipe.
  • Flip through your recipe books and pick something fun to try.
  • Cook and prepare meals to freeze.
  • Make a cake and decorate it.
  • Teach your kids a new cooking skill.

Clean & organize your life.

  • There’s no time like downtime to freshen up your home.
  • Clean the floors, wash the curtains, de-clutter a closet or drawer.
  • Work on a fix-it home project.
  • Rearrange a room.
  • Air out your home, burn some sage, steep some spices in a pot of water on the stove to give your home a fresh, clean smell.

Being stuck at home is only a punishment if you view it that way.

You’re always pressed for time, wishing you had time, feeling like time is so fleeting — now that you have some, spend it wisely and relax.

Here’s a poem I wrote about the pandemic–I think some of you may like. Especially that last line…

Soon, you’ll be back to your busy life and you’ll feel more refreshed and centered if you’ve invested a bit of time in play, in your home, and in your family.

If you’d like to share your downtime activities and how you’re keeping sane through this whole pandemic–share them in the comments below. If you or a loved one is sick and you need a little support–share that as well so we, as a community of people who are out there doing our best to be good humans, can offer our support.

Stay safe my friends and wash your hands–like, a lot.

Christina M. Ward
well-life blogger and author of organic

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