the night before a surgery isn’t a relaxed one

This one will be brief.

I’m nervous. But since I like to look for the elusive silver-lining (seriously, WHAT is a silver-lining anyway?) I thought I’d make a quick list to help me re-focus my thoughts from the nervous energy, the Prednisone coursing through me that makes me a raging meanie (currently with heartburn) and keep my mind off the dismal surgery outcomes for tomorrow.

At least I have a supportive family, who loves me (and who better do the dishes if I am sleeping )

At least my SO has already mentioned making sure we had plenty of soup in the house–perhaps he’ll feed ME!

At least if I can’t eat much i might lose weight. (Ok unlikely but I’ll even take 2 lbs if it’s a LOSS.)

At least there’s netflix.

At least this is a one-time thing!

A least there’s a chair on my front porch that I can sit in to listen to the birds–and it’s supposed to be a pretty day tomorrow!

At least I am reading a good book.

At least I start a poetry workshop on Friday!!! I won’t be able to talk but I can listen.

At least, even in fear, pushing through makes us stronger.

At least the Prednisone isn’t forever–and my family members have already devised a safety plan for themselves. (Yes, I am THAT awful on this stuff.)

At least, I know, that no matter what, God’s got me, my family’s got me, and I am tough.

At least the Gofundme raised the money I need for the surgery!

I asked Robbie “What if the nerve’s messed up and I can’t smile anymore?”

He said “Baby I’ll love you no matter what, besides you don’t smile with your mouth, you smile with your eyes.”

I am so blessed.